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At dinner one night , my co-workers eldest son shared what he'd learned about chicken farming. He explained that male and female chickens have different purposes , and we only eat the female. Eager to display his own knowledge, his youngest brother stated," That's because they have breasts." 
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A cousin of mine has identical twin grandsons I can't tell apart , so their grandmother showed me a tiny mole one had that other didn't. Then she added that there was another way to know who was who. She turned to them and said, " Who made the mass?" "Brett did it!" cried one. 
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My son and his wife were expecting a baby , and it was all my 3-year-old grandson could talk about each time I called. The night the baby was born , I asked Lauchlan on the phone," Are you bringing the baby home soon?" Lauchlan hesitated, then said:" Yes. It hasn't got any place else to go."  |
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My kids and I were on our way to visit friends when I stopped to get some cash from the bank machine . My five-year-old daughter watched , gaping , as the $ 20 bills came shooting out . " Mom , " she gulped , " When you die , can I have that card?" 
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My in-law were visiting and my middle daughter, Breina, nearly four, was sitting on the couch with her Grandma, looking through the family photo album . "That's your son!" said Breina, pointing to a picture of her daddy. So I asked her , " Who am I to Grandma ? " She sat there a moment, then a big smile came over her face. "Oh, Mom, you are her daughter-in-love." 
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When he was four years old, my son Shawn needed encourgement to get him to eat. At breakfast, I'd draw a face on his egg, and using a high-pitched , squeaky voice, I'd say, " Eat me, eat me." One morning my husband was coaxing him to eat and followed my example. Shawn looked at him in utter disdain and said," You don't even sound like an egg!" 
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At the supermarket, I noticed two little girls around four and six years old, walking hand-in-hand, alone. I was just about to ask them if they were lost when the younger girl, her bottom lip quivering, looked up at her older sister and asked, "Are you sure we're not lost?" Her sister, looking very thoughtful, cocked her head to one side as if listening, then replied:" No, we're not lost yet. when you hear Mommy screaming, then we're lost." |
Bob is hired to work as a signalman at a rural train station. His wife, Amy, is relieved he has a steady job. A few weeks later the stationmaster decides to conduct a spot inspection. "What would you do if two train were approaching each other on the same line?" he asks. Bob answers," I would put all the lights on red and stop the trains." " The lights are out of action. What now?" " I would light flares," Bob says. " They're damp and won't work: and now the trains are really close." Bob tells him," Well then I'd go and get Amy." " What could she do?" the stationmaster asks. " Nothing," Bob answers, " but she's never seen a train wreck before." 
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Jack was depressed when he got back from the doctor's office. " What's the matter?" his wife asked. " The doctor says I have to take one of these white pills every day for the rest of my life." " And what's so bad about that?" " He only gave me seven." 
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" Would you like a Jaguar for your birthday, honey?" " No, I don't think so. " " How about a mink coat?" " No, thanks." " How about a diamond necklace?" " No, what I really want is a divorce." " Oh, I wasn't planning on spending that much." 
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A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table she asked her six-year-old daughter, " Would you like to say the blessing?" " I wouldn't know what to say," the little girl replied. " Just say what you hear Mommy say," her mother said. The little girl bowed her head and said, " Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?" 
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